world_of_homestuckfandomcom-20200214-history
081514doirsami
03:10 GA: Doir takes a seat at Sami's library table. "hey sami, whats up on this fine maybe day or possibly night?" 03:10 AA: "Oh, hi Doir." 03:10 AA: "Actually....something DID happen last night." 03:11 GA: "really? do tell!" 03:11 AA: "I kind of...uh....kissed Beau." 03:11 GA: "hey, good job!" 03:11 AA: "...is it?" She looks confused. 03:12 GA: "uh, well i was coming from the 'any kiss is a score' mindset but if your relationship is getting to the point where you can kiss, thats good" 03:12 GA: "because that means youre getting close again" 03:12 AA: "I don't know. I mean....it's still kind of weird." 03:13 AA: "And....he said he's trying to research resurrection....only it's to bring back my Beau, instead of to bring himself to life." Sami sounds conflicted. 03:13 GA: "thats... well, i uh..." 03:13 AA: "Yeah. So you can see why I'm confused." 03:14 GA: "thats definitely a confusing situation, yes" 03:14 AA: "He's incredibly sweet, just like she was. In fact, being with him is JUST like being with her in so many ways." 03:14 GA: "sami... do you remember that fraymotif kate got?" 03:15 AA: "Yeah. The creepy one? That she says isn't so creepy?" 03:15 GA: "yeah, well, ive been thinkin... if thats something the game supplies, maybe different timeline selves really are replacable just like that?" 03:16 GA: "i mean, maybe this beau is the new alpha beau, and the original is the doomed?" 03:16 AA: "...I don't know. Kate seems to think that way." 03:16 GA: "it... its kind of fucked up, really, that there are just thousands of copies of all of us out there or whatever. exactly the same except they made a different choice and died for it." 03:16 GA: "its like that show, yknow, rick and morty, did you ever see that?" 03:17 AA: Sami thinks back. "Um....maybe a little? I don't think it had gotten very far when we left." 03:17 AA: "You know how I like cartoons though." 03:18 AA: "Or at least how I did. I don't think I've watched any in forever." 03:18 AA: "I kind of miss them." 03:18 GA: "well, it was a sci-fi show. and there was one episode where they fuck up so bad, that like, they cant fix it. at all." 03:18 GA: "the whole world is destroyed, and their solution? they just hop to a timeline where its fixed and replace their newly-killed selves" 03:19 AA: That sounds vaguely familiar. 03:19 GA: "and the reaction to that episode and the episodes after where they dealt with the aftermath was horror from fans" 03:19 AA: "Huh?" 03:20 AA: "I mean it's just a cartoon." 03:20 GA: "yeah, and art is just a bunch of colors." 03:20 GA: "it had meaning. and everyone found that meaning fucked up to the highest degree." 03:21 AA: "I guess. Sounds a lot like what we deal with on a daily basis around here." 03:21 GA: "this? this is just like that. this is just as confusing, and scary, and fucked up as that. so i say screw it, just go with your new beau and try not to think about original beau. shes probably found another sami just like you, and feels terrible about replacing you, and just as conflicted." 03:21 AA: Sami hugs her knees. 03:22 AA: "But I don't want her to feel bad about that! She deserves to be happy. With SOMEONE, even if it's not me." 03:22 GA: "and thats how she must feel about you!" 03:22 AA: "...but it does hurt to imagine her with someone else." 03:22 AA: "Like that time I met the Beau who married Tlaloc in Troll Christmas Land." 03:23 GA: "yeah that was weird." 03:23 GA: "but i guess sometimes that happens?" 03:23 GA: "like alternate timelines and shit" 03:23 AA: "Yeah....maybe there's a timeline for every possibility." 03:23 GA: "i dunno, probably." 03:24 AA: "Which means there should be billions of Samis out there, almost exactly like me." 03:24 AA: "And billions of Beaus, too." 03:24 GA: "exactly my point." 03:24 GA: "we're all replacable by ourselves." 03:24 AA: "It still kind of feels like I'm betraying my Beau, though." 03:25 GA: "but newbeau had the same experiences as she did up until a certain point, except for the whole male thing" 03:25 GA: "for all intents and purposes, this is the same exact beau, just with a slightly different past." 03:25 AA: "Yeah....that part's still a little weird for me." 03:25 AA: "The male part." 03:26 GA: "do you not uh... you not down with the uh, dudeparts?" 03:26 AA: "I don't know. I never really thought about dudeparts before." 03:26 AA: "They're kind of silly looking." 03:26 GA: "yeah" 03:26 GA: "omfg did you know nate is straight" 03:26 GA: "fucking, goddamnit" 03:26 AA: "Well I mean....I've never seen him with a boy, or talking about boys." 03:26 GA: "but he didnt say he *wasnt* straight" 03:26 AA: "Honestly I was a little surprised to see him with Aura in the first place." 03:27 AA: "I kind of figured him for not being into....uh....people?" 03:27 GA: "yknow, if youre worried about not liking the dick, you could just ask beau to use a henshin pen" 03:27 AA: Sami blushes. 03:27 GA: "oh shit, i wonder if nate would like me if i used a henshin pen" 03:27 AA: "I couldn't ask him to change who he is for me, Doir. It's not right." 03:27 GA: "true" 03:28 AA: "He's already too scared he's not good enough for me." 03:28 GA: "but maybe hed be up for it? i hear ladies can get multiple orgasms!" 03:28 GA: "really, he might as well use it anyway" 03:28 AA: Sami blushes and averts her gaze. 03:28 AA: "Well be that as it may..." 03:28 AA: She sighs. "I don't know. There are things about him that are nice." She blushes a little. 03:29 AA: "He's even taller now. And I like standing on tip-toes to kiss someone..." 03:29 AA: "...although actually I can barely reach him even when I do if he doesn't bend down." 03:29 GA: "heheh, you are pretty short" 03:29 GA: "but that stuff sounds really cute?" 03:29 AA: "And I like that when he hugs me, I'm like....ALL THE WAY hugged." 03:30 GA: "being in love sure does sound fun" 03:30 AA: She sighs dreamily. "It is. But confusing, too. And it hurts when you lose it." 03:31 AA: She pats Doir's hand. "I'm sure you'll find someone someday. Someone who's not as flaky as your previous partners." 03:31 GA: Doir sighs. "everyone here is flaky. literally everyone." 03:31 AA: "Well, there are about to be a bunch more people. Maybe some of them won't be." 03:32 AA: "...did you ever think about asking out Ilva? I'm not sure if she'd be up for it, but I always thought you'd do best with someone sensible who can sort of....uh....balance you out." 03:32 GA: "eh, i dunno about her." 03:33 GA: "she might still be pissed about the whole 'got all the other elves killed' thing" 03:33 GA: "also shes not really my type" 03:33 AA: "Yeah. I can see where that would be a problem." 03:33 AA: "That's too bad though. I think you two would be good for each other. You might lighten her up, and she help you to focus." 03:34 GA: "we dont need to be romantic partners to help each other though" 03:34 GA: "could just like, become companions" 03:34 AA: "That'd be good too. She could be like a mentor for you. The Batman to your Robin." 03:34 GA: "nah, honestly, im still head over heels for nate." 03:35 AA: "Doir....it's one thing to crush on someone when you're not sure how they feel....but you can't pine over someone who's not interested in you." 03:35 AA: "You've got to move on." 03:35 GA: "i know, but nobody else is helping him" 03:36 AA: Sami sighs. "He doesn't want to BE helped, Doir." 03:36 AA: "I've been trying to help him for more than a year now. He's made it very clear he resents it when we do." 03:36 GA: "but i want to help him. im not leaving one of my best friends with emotional trauma and noone attempting to help." 03:36 GA: "if we all give up, he'll just get worse." 03:37 GA: "and i know i have pretty much no chance with him, thats why i turned it into a comedic subplot 'cause i knew i could milk that shit for years" 03:38 AA: "Doir. You can't just hide behind shields like that. Sometimes you've got to let all your defenses down and just be real." 03:39 GA: "yeah, thats what im doing. fuckin done being the guy who sets people on fire and gets called stupid. im finished being the chew-toy, cloudcuckoolander, plucky comic relief." 03:39 AA: "As to Nate..." she sighs. "I just don't know how we're supposed to help him." 03:39 GA: "im trying a new approach" 03:39 GA: "called actually attempting to be his best friend and talk shit out with him, in a serious manner, about our feelings, like we're doing right now with each other as besties" 03:40 AA: She looks up at the ceiling. "You know, I wasn't much better than Nate is right now, after Beau died. The only reason I came out of it was Meouet telling me what a selfish bitch I was being by wallowing in self pity....and then thinking I fucked everything up by making that deal with the Horrorterrors." 03:43 AA: "...thing is, I don't think any of that would work with Nate. Because I don't know if he would CARE if he's being a selfish bitch, and I don't know if he would feel bad about putting the rest of us in danger if he had made a bad deal with the Horrorterrors." 03:44 GA: "yeah i tried calling him a selfish bitch and it didnt work" 03:44 GA: "he just sort of shrugged it off like 'yeah im selfish i dont give a fuck'" 03:44 AA: "It's not a fun thing to be called." She sighs. "But maybe that's only if you're not used to thinking of yourself that way." 03:45 AA: She shakes her head. "I've been called a slut and a bitch more times than I ever thought I would since playing this game." 03:45 GA: "sami, ima level with you here, youre one of the nicest and most thoughtful people i've ever met. you arent a bitch, and you arent selfish, and you arent a slut." 03:45 GA: "all those people are just dicks callin you that" 03:46 GA: "yes, including me when i called you a bitch just 'cause you were in a bad mood" 03:46 AA: "I'm pretty sure I'm a paleslut, by troll standards. Or at least I was." She sighs. "I don't know that I am anymore." 03:46 GA: "who fuckin cares what the trolls think of us" 03:46 GA: "maenam is oblivious and probably colorblind, rilset fucking eats people, seriad is a dick, and ryspor barely even qualifies as a troll" 03:46 AA: "I don't know. There are more trolls left than humans. And after all we've been through together....they're pretty much as much a part of our crew as the other humans." 03:47 AA: "Honestly, I'd rather share a lunch table with most of them than with Nate at this point." 03:48 GA: "well, i dont give a shit about being a paleslut. ill pale the crap outta anybody i want." 03:48 GA: "and if the trolls have anything to say about that then they can fuck right off" 03:50 GA: "just, dont give a shit about what anybody calls you, 'cause they're just basic bitches" 03:51 AA: She chuckles, and elbows Doir in the rib playfully. "Thanks." 03:51 GA: "no problem. im always here to help." 03:52 GA: "can i just ask you something, sami? bestie to bestie?" 03:52 AA: Then she sighs again. "If you ever do manage to get through to Nate, and think I can help, let me know. We need everyone we can get if we're going to survive this, and losing Nate is going to suck. I'd love it if he could come back to being one of us." 03:52 AA: "Sure." 03:53 GA: "does everyone on this fucking ark hate me?" 03:53 GA: "or think im an absolute joke?" 03:53 AA: "Not everyone." She gives him another playful elbow to the ribs. 03:53 GA: "i mean everyone else" 03:53 AA: But then takes a deep breath. "But....it's tough to take you seriously sometimes, the way you carry on." 03:54 GA: "nobody appreciates what i do, man" 03:54 AA: "I know it's just a facade to keep up your defenses....but it's a really convincing one sometimes." 03:54 AA: "Do you ever worry that you might be Becoming the Mask?" 03:54 GA: "hahah, no way." 03:54 GA: "maybe before i did? but now im done." 03:55 AA: "Well if I'm to be completely honest....I don't think most of the others can tell that there's anything beneath the mask." 03:55 GA: "well, that's because you have to be a level 4 friend to unlock my tragic 3d-ness." 03:57 GA: "but i dumped the mask in a trash can now, so by the end of the trip hopefully everyone will notice i've become like ten times more sane" 03:57 AA: "If that's what you want to do. I don't know if I'm really in the position to be giving anyone life advice anymore." 03:58 GA: "well, you're doing better than a lot of us." 03:58 GA: "i mean, maenam still thinks her 'fashion' is... well, fashion." 03:58 AA: "It's just post-modern is all, Doir." 03:59 AA: "It's really complex and..." Sami thinks about it, then gives a look of sudden realization. 03:59 AA: "Oh my god. She's completely serious about it, isn't she?" 03:59 GA: "yep" 03:59 GA: "aaaaand the last horse passes the finish line" 03:59 GA: "good job, you can now see her as the obvious comic relief character she is" 04:00 AA: "I have been TORTURING myself over how much more she GETS art than me since I met her, Doir!" 04:00 GA: "oh my god sami" 04:00 GA: "she is literally the worst fsahionista ever how could you think that" 04:01 GA: "yknow sometimes you really say shit that makes me wonder if youve actually stopped being comic relief too" 04:01 AA: "...I thought it was like....post modern. You know. Like she was making a statement about how silly fashion is or something." 04:01 GA: "no, god, of course not" 04:01 GA: Doir takes out the suit that Maenam made for him. "look at this shit. this is terrible." 04:01 AA: "No, c'mon now Doir. She put her heart into it." 04:01 AA: "It's not terrible. It's just....unique." 04:01 GA: "i know, i know." 04:02 GA: "i mean, youve seen me wear it around sometimes, and i know she appreciates it." 04:02 GA: "but im just sayin, this is a fashion tragedy." 04:02 GA: "lmao i made the ugliest dress i could just to see if shed like it and she totally did" 04:02 AA: "I don't know anything about fashion, really. I don't even know if I can pull off black lipstick." 04:03 GA: "nah, youre doin fine" 04:03 GA: "though if youre going for the goth look theres a lot more stuff you could be doing" 04:03 GA: "you pull off a casual black just fine though" 04:06 AA: "I don't know if it's a GOTH thing really....at first I was just in mourning. But I kind of thought the black lips were cute." 04:06 AA: "I never really had the skintone for those super red lips. And pink lipstick makes me look like a little girl." 04:07 GA: "yeah, the black lips are cute, and you look a bit more mature now." 04:07 GA: "yknow, i used to be quite into fashion before i was traumatized beyond comprehension and went so insane that ive looped back around to sanity." 04:08 AA: "That's so cute how you think this counts as 'sane.'" She has a grin on her face that makes it clear she's only teasing him. 04:09 GA: "scuse you? this week its my turn to hold the sanity ball" 04:10 AA: "So....is it weird for you? Jack being back?" 04:10 AA: "I mean....weirder than it is for the rest of us?" 04:11 GA: "um? yeah?" 04:12 AA: "So what was the deal with you two? Were you like....y'know...?" She holds up her index and middle fingers, entwined together. 04:12 GA: "hm? no, just anime-style best friends. wouldve probably become yaoi if we'd been together longer." 04:13 GA: "but uh, yknow, the whole 'killed nearly all of my friends including ryspor right in front of me in such a gruesome way that i still see it sometimes when i close my eys and then he killed me with a fuckign umbrella' thing mostly just makes me angry when i see him" 04:14 GA: "angry at him, and angry because nobody else is listening when im yelling 'hey hes going to fucking kill us again if we dont do anything about him'" 04:15 AA: She sighs. "What are we supposed to do, Doir? Fight him again? Risk him killing someone else? We barely survived the first time. And he knows our tricks now." 04:15 AA: "You think he's going to let Kate pull off that crazy shit she pulled off again this time?" 04:15 GA: "no, but uh, what if we just had rilset make him not exist any more?" 04:15 GA: "poof, problem solved" 04:16 AA: Sami hugs her knees. "Who do you think is the first person he'll try to kill, if we attack him, Doir?" 04:16 AA: "Who do you think he thinks would cause the most pain to us if they died?" 04:16 GA: "you?" 04:16 AA: "No." 04:17 AA: "Well, I don't know. Maybe." 04:17 AA: "That would probably make Beau die inside." 04:17 GA: "uh, who are you talking about then if not yourself?" 04:17 AA: "I was thinking it would be Beau again though." 04:17 GA: "you cant kill a ghost again thats just silly" 04:17 AA: "That's what you're suggesting we do to HIM, Doir." 04:18 GA: "no, no, im not saying we kill him, im saying we literally make him stop existing" 04:18 AA: "I just don't want to risk the possibility he might kill one of us again if we try it, Doir." 04:19 GA: He sighs. "the other thing i could try is to use mind powers to maybe delete that 'sadist' thing he has." 04:19 GA: "or turn him into a vegetable." 04:19 AA: "...and risk him killing YOU instead." 04:20 GA: "okay, youve gotta understand sami, hes going to do something" 04:20 AA: "Of course he is. But he's not doing it yet." 04:20 AA: "For now, we can be getting stronger. We can be planning contingencies." 04:21 AA: "We can refrain from rushing into a fight before we're ready to take him on like we did last time." 04:21 GA: "what made you think i was saying we do something now?" 04:21 GA: "i meant after we've been training for all five years." 04:21 AA: "I don't know. I'm not used to you thinking ahead." 04:22 GA: "oh shoosh." 04:22 AA: "...we really need to find a way to get Beau out of that dreambubble." 04:23 AA: "I don't like imagining him stuck here on the Ark, alone with Jack." 04:23 GA: "what if we build him a robot to possess" 04:23 GA: "or make him an illusion body, like the elves have?" 04:23 AA: "I don't know....can ghosts DO that?" 04:23 GA: "idfk thats what ghosts do, right? they possess shit?" 04:24 AA: "I don't know. I don't know much about ghosts, really." 04:24 AA: "I'll have to add that to the list of things I'm studying, I guess. Ectobiology." 04:24 GA: "yeah, i dont know much about ghosts either." 04:25 GA: "if he cant possess stuff, maybe i could like, take his mind, and put it in something else" 04:25 GA: "like a robot." 04:28 AA: "Hmm. I guess it's worth a shot. But..." she blushes a little. "I don't know about kissing a robot." 04:28 GA: "beep bop boop, what is the meaning of love?" 04:32 GA: "yknow, sami, if malebeau doesnt feel like hes good enough because hes not the 'real' beau... maybe change the definition of real?" 04:32 AA: "What do you mean?" 04:33 GA: "well, if you compared them side by side, what are the differences?" 04:33 GA: "1. male 2. watched you die" 04:34 AA: Sami looks sad. "He's still hurting so bad from that, too." 04:35 GA: "what im saying is, he is a completely real, completely valid beau. why shouldnt he get a chance to be the real beau?" 04:36 AA: "Yeah, but....even if that's true, can I ever be his real Sami?" 04:37 GA: "there is no 'real' sami, sami. you are the exact same sami he had, up until your point of death. you *are* his sami." 04:38 AA: Sami rests her chin on her knees and considers this for a while. 04:39 AA: Finally she sighs. "Yeah, but would HE really see it that way?" 04:39 GA: "i dunno, sami. im good at this scifi stuff, i could try sayin it to him too. but, just, dont look a gift horse in the mouth, yknow?" 04:40 AA: She closes her eyes for a bit. Then she nods. "Okay." 04:40 GA: "not everyone gets a second chance to be with who they love. you should both make the best of it, rather than getting stuck on philosophical problems." 04:40 AA: "But why does everything have to be so complicated?" 04:40 GA: "cause it makes a more interesting story" 04:41 AA: Sami grunts and rolls her eyes. 04:41 GA: "its either that answer, or 'the universe is a fucking prick.'" 04:41 GA: "and my answer makes more sense than a sentient universe." 04:42 AA: "Works out to about the same thing, either way. Whether if it's because of schadenfreude or whether it's because suffering is interesting, either way we're going to go through a lot more shit before this is all over." 04:43 GA: "man, existing fucking sucks." 04:43 AA: "But I guess that just proves your point, doesn't it? Beau and I should enjoy the good times while we can. Before things get 'interesting' again." 04:44 GA: "yeah" 04:44 GA: "its already pretty fucking clear that this universe doesnt fuck around when it comes to sad endings. id say make the most of it while you can." 04:46 GA: "but maybe you guysll get the happy ending. if anyone deserves it after all thats happened, its you two." 04:48 AA: She sighs. "You don't get what you deserve, Doir. You get what you get." 04:48 AA: She stands up. "But thanks." She pushes him a little, in a friendly gesture. 04:49 GA: He pats her on the back and smiles. "youre welcome." 04:49 AA: "Good luck with Nate. Seriously, if you do get through to him, let me know." 04:49 GA: "heheheh, youll be the first one to know." 04:49 GA: "now, ive got a date with a little something called three hot pockets." 04:50 GA: He gets up, and pushes in his chair. "see ya 'round, sami." 04:50 AA: "...the kitchen will make you pretty much anything you could possibly want and you eat hot pockets?" 04:50 GA: "its tuesday. hot pocket day." 04:50 AA: She gives a long suffering sigh. "Yeah, see you Doir. Enjoy your hot pockets." 04:51 GA: He walks out. "thanks, i will."